61 replies to this topic

[JC 042]

Life skills learnt from video games:

•Assassins Creed - Rob priests and give the money to hookers. 
ALWAYS invest in real estate. 
Don't kill the messenger, ever.

•Overlord 2 - Murder isn't the answer, slavery has much more profit. 
Never underestimate the blue minions. 
Why do stuff yourself? Get others to do it for you.

•Elder Scrolls - Your always trying to figure out why the hell you start out in prison.

•Skyrim - Never fight a bear, just leg it, dragons are easier. 
Alchemy is easy money.
Always wear knee pads.
DONT KILL THE CHICKENS!
Get people to carry your crap around for you.

Fallout - A bit of radiation never hurts anybody *looks at Super Mutant* See, look how muscular this guy is, he even has a healthy green glow. 

•Warhammer 40,000 - Remember, when life gives you lemons, BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! 
Never trust the Inquisition, EVER. 
Never pick a fight with someone bigga nd greena dan u. 
Who needs a fork? When you have a Choppa! Who needs armour? When you have a Choppa! Who needs a Choppa when your fighting a Space Marine? When you have legs to take you to the opposite direction.
MEHTAL BOHKSES!
MILK FOR KHORNEFLAKES!

•Lara Croft Tomb Raider - Kill as many endangered species as you like.
Don't mess with the British female archeologists.

•Super Mario - Eat magic mushrooms. 
Never underestimate a midget.
Head-butt those bricks, go on you'll be fine.

•Brutal Legend - *strums guitar* YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

•Call of Duty - Kill Russians. Kill Russians. Kill Russians. Kill Russians. Kill Russians. Camp in a corner and kill Russians like a noob. Kill Russians. Kill Russians.

• Call of Duty World at War - Kill Nazis. Kill Nazis. Kill Nazi Zombies. Kill Nazis. Kill Nazis. Kill Nazis.

•Brutal Legend continued - AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Add any other valuable lessons video games has taught you.

[RavenGuard117]

BioSock- Always inject yourself with glowing red stuff. Don't fuck with dudes in giant diving suits. Re-writing your genetic code makes you carzy and look like you're from The Hills Have Eyes

[TheGodDernMan]

[IMG]http://i1241.photobucket.com/albums/gg512/TheGodDernMan/i_grow_up_and_get_a_life_get_a_life_grow_up_4f3bd4eaa767b.jpg[/img]

and then I told her to F*** off!

[dx144]

Skyrim - Don't kill bandits, dragon or any else people want killed. It is easier to carry something to another person and get paid more.
Fable - Just buy something do nothing for the next week and become a rich bastard.
Skyrim - Save the world no one really cares... So do nothing saves me time...

[JC 042]

Darksiders - Its the end of everything... Lets kick some ass!

[JC 042]

Dawn of War - *listens to Justin Bieber* SQUAD BROKEN!

[Armoured Priest]

Batman arkham city- Everyone needs to smile every now and then.
(And there's people running around putting giant green question marks everywhere.)

[JC 042]

Skyrim - Sheogorath "Tah, come visit again! Or i'll PLUCK OUT YOUR EYES! Hahaha!"

[JC 042]

Skyrim - The importance of one handed skill

Spoiler

[Siddicus]

Skyrim - The importance of one handed skill

Spoiler

LMAO! Joker knows this more than most.


Left4Dead: In this game tanks are'nt the big metal boxes blowing you up instead a tank is a pissed off super infected who does'nt like you or your buddies and will stomp you to death. *Not to be confused with the HULK.*

Shoot em in the brain, they go down quicker or just empty a whole mag into a crowd!

Dont heal Zoey, she may become offended.

Dont heal Francis, he might want to fuck you.

[JC 042]

Command and Conquer Tiberium Wars -
Husband: Honey Ive brought you somthing!
Wife: Ooh what is it? *gasp* that looks so expensive! (puts on the necklace) Oh its so beautiful! How did you make that green crystal glow?
Husband - Oh its nothing special...
(wife starts disintigrating)
Just As Planned...

If you dont get this you havnt played tiberium wars

[dx144]

I love C&C 3 Tiberium Wars =)
Kill majority of the world with a Scrin Invasion to use one of their towers.... Note to self stay away from Nod.... But the glow the beautiful glow of the Tiberium!

[Siddicus]

Tib Wars! I love Tib Wars! Though i only played the demo but still enjoyed it.

[JC 042]

I never played the 3rd, i must get along to playing tiberium twighlight.

Any back on topic, anyone have any other examples.

[JC 042]

Assassins Creed -
"ok, now jump"
"What?! We're on a 30 storey high building! Hell no!"
"Theres a hay bale at the bottom"
"oh, that changes everything" *Jumps
"We're in the 21st century dumbass, who puts hay bales at the bottom of skyscrapers. Just As Planned"

[dx144]

Bad shit happens in Dawn of War - Chaos Marines laugh. Laughing in times when all seems lost makes it all better =) Always look on the bright side of life....

[Armoured Priest]

Lost Planet 2- Shoot the glowie spots and suck up the fluids!

[dx144]

Gears of War - Dizzy "Hehe what? Where? Where you going!" And then steps on a grubs head. lesson - Also laugh at your opponent at ALL TIMES!

[JC 042]

Gears of War - kill loads of shit and develop no form of story what so ever also chainsaw gun VRUM VRUM VRRRRRRRMMMMM!

[Siddicus]

Left4Dead+Dead Island- Dont trust people who are moving around the place missing arms and bleeding everywhere when they should possibly be dead?

Space Marine- "Im on the point and am capping it yay!" *hears movement behind* 'blam! taste the rainbow yeah!' *im sad now*.

Call of Duty: MW2+3- Russians are crazy bastards.