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Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
Chuck Norris won American Idol using only sign language
Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards
Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died
If you run from Chuck Norris you only die tired
Superman can fly but Chuck Norris can teleport
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris once had to face reality...reality lost.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
NASA beams episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger to outer space as a warning for Aliens of what will happen if they invade Earth.
Chuck Norris wears sun glasses to protect the sun from his eyes.
Chuck Norris had 21 in blackjack, he asked for another card... and won
Chuck Norris once roudhoused kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek
Chuck Norris can draw a perfect circle with a ruler
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor naturally slapped him on the behind. Fortunately for the doctor, he was in a hospital at the time.
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he stands on the porch and dares it to grow
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Chuck Norris had a staring contest with a picture. And Won.
Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris
