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[Angry Comedian]

A terrible darkness fell over the city as wave after wave of ork ROKS fell from the sky smashing into buildings and the streets below unleasing numerous orks upon the helpless citizens and having taking the nearby guardsmen by complete surprise had continued unchallenged on their green blitzkrieg thru the city's lower levels leaving nothing but death and destruction in their search of a great WAAAGH!. The only ones defending the nearby city were a company of guard security forces , a small armoured division of leman russ tanks and baslisk cannons and regiment of local guardsmen that had just returned from a training excercise lead by a stubborn as well as (somewhatly) inteligent colonel by the name of Palavion Ocovus who's tactical planning was something to be desired was ade up for by the respect that he showed his troops which was in fact a rarity in imperial guard.

Colonel palavion odered his troops to create a wall of guns to try and fend of the green tide thus pushing them back with leman russ tanks and bombarding them with fire from the few but operational basilisk artillery pices that he had requsitioned from the armoured commanders.However masterfull he thought his plan was...it had failed he gave the artillery crews the wrong firing coordinates and only ended up baraging the last surviving remnaints of the planets primary security force that were about to ambush the orks from behind in an attempt to disorient them from their push towards the capitol, all the while colonel palavion's (wall of guns) was quickly destroyed and thus sending the survivng guardsmen (as usual) into a tactical retreat.

Finally after realizng the errors in his tactics and seeing the number of casualties his regiment had suffered from his errors he did the only thing left that he could think of, he turned the command over to a hard hitting and even more stubborn but tacticaly sound sergeant- major Alarus Mactovous who after receiveng the order to take command from the incompitent colonel answered with a most tactful gesture-thank you for allowing me this honor sir NOW TAKE A FUCKING SEAT AND LET ME SHOW YOU HOW ITS FUCKING DONE screamed Alarus who also happened to be one of the many pupils that learned from the great commisar fuklaw of the anry marines.

Sergeant-major alarus ordered what remaing troops that had fallen back from colonel palavions wall of guns to regroup and sent them to regroup with the company of leman russ tanks that had been waiting for the order to push back the greenskin horde, sergeant-major alarus said with a most angry but proud decree- I WILL MAKE IT MY PERSONAL MISSION TO ENSURE THAT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE UGLY GREEN RETARDS ARE TURNED INTO FUCKING ASH all the while re-iterating past phrases and insults about eldar and other xenos that he was taught during his time alongside commisar fuklaw.

Alarus had sent scouts to stealthfuly gather the coordinates for (in alarus's words) THE STUPID GREEN *CENSORED* SLOBERING SUPERTARDS WITH GUN'S CURRENT POSITION which during their WAAAAAGH had lost their way inside the city and ended up running around in circles shooting at the same buildings and stepping on the same dead civilians which by now were probably nothing more then a big red paste on the ground. The ork boss leading the waaagh was one of the lesser ork bosses but was still considered to be the better of the horde, 'MAD BOY THROAT-SMASHA was the most feared amoungst the his horde even by the nobs which were ten times his size and was a pretty decent smasha of humies, the problem was that he wasn't very tall or even very tuff he was put as the warboss because of his ability to demorilize his enemies as well as any troops that tried to challenge him and would have won if not for his extensive list of very hurtfull words.

Throat smasha jumped on top of one of the shoota nobs standing next to him so that the horde could see that he was about to give one of his speeches... LISTEN UP U STUPID SQUIG LICKING GITZ DER'Z STILL A HO LOTA HUMIES OUT DER DAT NEED A GOOD STOMPIN AND WE AUGHT TO GIVE IT TO EM, NOW GRAB YA SHOOTAZ AND YA CLUBZ WE'Z GOTTA FIGURE OUT WERE DE REST OF DEM SMALL PINK WEAK WEEBLE SUKIN SOFTIEZ IS HIDING, (ork horde joins in) WAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!

[JC 042]

As a famous hero of the internet once said: "MOAR!".

[Armoured Priest]

Hilarious as usual. Keep up the awesome stories.

[Angry Comedian]

And as the green skin horde rallyed over ''throat stompaz'' speech they immediatly began to charge thru the city's lower levels in search of more humies to kill but instead continued to run around in the same path that just kept taking them back to the same spot the started from because they had forgotten that they were lost,which all the while bought the guardsmen and alarus time to regain their strength and resources necessary to push back the green tide.

finally after much preperation and unnecessary ranting about how much xenos suck and that the tau fire cast is more like a whiny,hymen faced bitch cast ,alarus had the forces he deemed acceptable to defeat the green scum that had rained down upon the city. Alarus was pleased and with that had ordered the the tank commanders and their crews to follow the guardsmen into the city provided they are supported by the tanks and artillery support fromt the basilisks, and without haste the guardsmen charged into the city's lower levels with leman russ tanks following closely behind them ever ready to avenge their fallen brethren and wipe the ork scourge off the planets surface. The orks however unknown to them had still been running around in circles before foot stompa finally realized what had happened and called upon the horde to stop, a salvo of artillery fire rained down on their heads sending orks limbs flying thru the street leaving a devastating mark of ork bodies strewn across the impact areas leaving the small but very angry throat stompa to rally what remained of the horde.

OI U LOT STOP DYING AND LISTIN UP, WE BEEN HEREZ BEFORE AND NOW WE GETTIN SHOT AT BY DEM HUMIE CANONS FOLLOW ME AND WE MIGHT GET INTO A GOOD FIGHT...roared throat stompa which to one of the unimpressed nobs '' sounds moar like a louds squeek to me thought the heavy nob'', but it still ralley the rest of the horde and off they went to search for a real proper battle.  
And as the green skin horde rallyed over ''throat stompaz'' speech they immediatly began to charge thru the city's lower levels in search of more humies to kill but instead continued to run around in the same path that just kept taking them back to the same spot the started from because they had forgotten that they were lost,which all the while bought the guardsmen and alarus time to regain their strength and resources necessary to push back the green tide.

finally after much preperation and unnecessary ranting about how much xenos suck and that the tau fire cast is more like a whiny,hymen faced bitch cast ,alarus had the forces he deemed acceptable to defeat the green scum that had rained down upon the city. Alarus was pleased and with that had ordered the the tank commanders and their crews to follow the guardsmen into the city provided they are supported by the tanks and artillery support fromt the basilisks, and without haste the guardsmen charged into the city's lower levels with leman russ tanks following closely behind them ever ready to avenge their fallen brethren and wipe the ork scourge off the planets surface. The orks however unknown to them had still been running around in circles before foot stompa finally realized what had happened and called upon the horde to stop, a salvo of artillery fire rained down on their heads sending orks limbs flying thru the street leaving a devastating mark of ork bodies strewn across the impact areas leaving the small but very angry throat stompa to rally what remained of the horde.

OI U LOT STOP DYING AND LISTIN UP, WE BEEN HEREZ BEFORE AND NOW WE GETTIN SHOT AT BY DEM HUMIE CANONS. FOLLOW ME AND WE MIGHT GET INTO A GOOD FIGHT...roared throat stompa which to an unimpressed nob '' sounds moar like a louds squeek to me'' thought the heavy nob, but it still rallyed the rest of the horde and off they went to search for a real proper battle.

[Angry Comedian]

the true battle for the city was about to began and as the ork horde drew themselves upon the city square they were greeted by the imperial guard regiment under the command of sergeant-major alarus and the armoured support of the leman russ tanks in tow. The orks readied their shootaz and their clubz while the guardsmen braced for an immediate charge from the greenskins all the while throat stompa and alarus began a stare down that lasted only a minute before throat stompa started spewing insults at the renewed guardsmen then as throat stompa was half way thru his insults alarus enraged by this pathetic tactic picked up a nearby rock and hurrled it at the small warbosse's head smaking him between the eyes and knocking him of his feet. Throat stompa became furious with this physical gesture and immediatly sent his horde into a charge, the guardsmen lined up in three firing lines fired their lasguns as soon as the words charge came out of the orks mouth which was then followed by the leman russ tanks firing their main cannons and heavy bolters at the wall of orks that was drawing ever closer bullets flying and both sides taking casualties the remanints of the ork scurge plowed thru the guardsmens firing line overwhelming them in melee but the gurdsmen were ready this time and had the rest of their regiment come in on the sides thus closing in on the orks from three differnts sides boxing in to keep them from fully retreating this stunned the orks and in notice of this one of the heavy nobs called out " DA HUMIES GOT US SURROUNDED AND DEZ TANKS IS BLSATIN US SOMETHIN GOOD WE OUGHT TO GETS DA FLOG OUTTA HERE BOSS " but throat stompa could not be heard to give the order to retreat for alarus was too busy stomping the little bastards face in with his boots while screaming one of the infamous phrases used by an angry marine during combat " TAKE THAT YOU STUPID FUCK , HOW DOES MY BOOT TASTE YOU FUN SIZED PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!

The orks had lost and any that tried to flee were mowed down by heavy bolter fire from the leman russ tanks and as alarus stood over the tiny bloodied pulp of a corpse that was known as throat stompa, he picked up the head of the already dead warboss screamed a most dick shriveling war cry and then tossed the decapitated warboss head into a nearby waste disposium bin all the while sending the gurdsmen into an uproar of cheers and relief that the battle was finally over... so in the end the guardsmen dont always suck, they just suck when the dont have an angry marine leading them into battle.
FIN