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It is the year 41000 and the universe is plaqued by death and faggoty heresy and for the imperium of man,this is a major f**king problem
. But in the midst of chaos there is a bright shining light tearing through the darkness waiting to shine judgment upon the xeno and its wimpy ass corruptive ways, but who shall meet these enemies at their doorstep and greet them with a gift basket of death and never ending "ass-kickery" why it is none other then the toughest ,meanest and beyond any uncertainty the ANGRIEST:@ chapter of space marines in the galaxy, i am of course talking about... THE ANGRY MARINES, floating through space in small single maned capsules "marcus stranglerious" a new recruit to the angry marines prepares for battle by punching himself in the face over and over again until he spots what looks like a warp storm appearing from nowhere. For a brief second he is startled as he watches the storm come closer but then he see's something start to peek out from the warp he see's what appears to be a massive space hulk emerging from the warp, marcus then becomes over joyed from the site of the massive hulk peiced together with the scarred remains of hundreds of ancient battle barges forming this enormous monstrosity of a ship adorned with the skins of it's past crew(s) and the mark of the of the word bearers traitor legion, as he continued to watch the corrupted hulk drift away marcus saw out of the corner of his eye a massive flash of purple and red and then witnessed the warp storm fade away leaving only the chaos vessel in front of him. After many seconds of watching his prize float by he sayed to himself with great pride IT"S ABOUT F**KING TIME THESE *CENSORED* ASS FAGGOTS SHOW UP. Without hesitating marcus chased after space hulk only thinking of the amount of duche-bags that were probably onboard waiting to recieve a much needed ass-whooping , As marcus drew closer he looked around for the closest object that he could use as a bludgening device to knock some sense into those stupid khorne loving pansy asses, armed only with a power wrench and a discarded copy of battle toads, Impatient and full of more rage then a khorne berserker he pushed his small shuttle to max "Ramming speed"only hoping to crash into the the most populated section of the space hulk and open a can of whoop ass onto the nearest chaos marines within his swinging range that waited onboard. As for the word bearers who while the whole time , are unaware of their most certain doom as too the ships tracking systems not picking up the small capsule of death that was ever so quickly gaining on them to deliver its cargo of retribution and anger . After weeks of being trown thru space he had finally managed by mere luck to stumble across his prey as his shuttle of despair came closer he grew even more anxious and tightened his grip even more nearly crushing the crafts flight controls, he has waited long . Marcus finally ramms his capsule into the ships docking bay screeching across the bay floor sparks flying from craft as it skids across the ground before finally making an abrupt halt into a parked chaos thunderhawk, having taking the chaos marines by complete surprise and a few of out of action with his shuttle, they had finally realized the presence of an enemy was near but it was too F**KING LATE. The word bearers had alerted evryone on the entire ship sending everyone into a blood fueled frenzy as the chaos marines and whatever chaos worshippers inside the bay surronded the small capsule armed with bolter pistlols/rifles waiting for their intruder to come out just to be torn to pieces marcus looked around seeing that he was out numbered and out gunned he was met with much hostility... he wouldnt have it any other way. One of the chaos worshippers stepped forword and yelled at him to surrender and offered him a chance to serve the blood god khorne Marcus furious by this gesture replied back PISS OFF YOU SCRAWNY *CENSORED* GUZZLING,ASS *CENSORED*,LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT BLOOD *CENSORED*!!! Astonished by the angry marines reply the one chaos worshippers step back while the rest stood in shock and silence for what they had heard, finally one of the chaos (skull) champions that was near the hanger bay stepped in front of wall of chaos marines that had encircled the small craft, the champion spoke with a blood curdling roar I AM TYRANUS (ty-ranus) THE CONQURER OF WORLDS COME OUT AND FIGHT YOU WEAK,PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A SPACE MARINE! The area grew quite as they awaited either a response or for the suicidal intruder to step forth, marcus did not reply back which left the chaos champion thinking that he had defeated the angry marine finally the capsule hatch opened making the chaos marines even more on edge but teranus was not worried he had fought thousands of opponents before and never lost a battle, to him fear wasn't even a reality at least not yet, marcus at long last emerged from his crashed vessel but only to emerge screaming an almost endless list of obscenities swinging his power wrench with no mercy or even care for who gets in his way, followed by an unhealhty and merciless dose of headbutts to the throat and the time honored traditon of kicking their enemies in their shriveled, nurgle infested chaos testicles . Teranus was amazed as he watched his fellow heretics one after the other fall at the hands of a single space marine who while beating the living shit out of his foes was screaming F**k YOU AND THE WARP STORM THAT SHAT YOU OUT!!! After the last chaos marine had fallen due to a devestating blow to the balls from marcus's power wrench he turned his attention toward the chaos champion that had irritated him so, the tyranus stood there in shock starring at the blood soaked angry marine that had killed an entire company of his most vicious warriors with nothing but his bare hands and a large pipe wrench which was entirely covered with the rich deamon blood that they had worshipped for years before. Marcus now had calmed down enough to see the *CENSORED*-gazing champion dickhead incharge of those pathetic waste of time piss ants was still there almost as if he was asking for a heaping helping of wrench and broken teeth sandwich he then pointed to the champion and said HEY ASSHOLE, get YOUR CANDY ASS OVER HERE SO I CAN HURRY UP AND BEAT THE DOG SHIT OUT OF YA I GOT SHIT TO DO TODAY, tyranus became very agrivated with the angry marine and his seletive vocabulary. He then drew for his bolt pistol when marcus with lightning fast speed threw his wrench at the tyranus knocking the bolt pistol out of his hands but marcus became frustrated and stomped the ground furiously as he replied DAMNIT, I WAS AIMING FOR YOUR FAT UGLY FACE YOU DIPSHIT, having had enouh of the angry marines insults toward him and the blood god he drew for his but before he could reply the angry marine had already made a mad dash for him and before his eyes the angry marine had jumped into the air ending with the the marcus's boot meeting with the teranus's face as he fell marcus clenched his fist in rage and began to pummel the ass faced champion tear -anus repeatedly but he did not want to defeat him this way and as he removed his fist from whats his fuck's face he walked over to where he had thrown his power wrench as he picked it up he walked back over to the bloody ,battered champion fuck face standing over him with his power wrench in hand he raised it for one finally......... then a shit ton of ass licking obliterators came out of nowhere and bashed the angry marine over the head stealing his somewhatly important victory of the supposed fuck tards and their champion commander. As the obliterators fired what seemed like a wall of bullets at the angry marine tyranus somehow managed to pick his sandy-*CENSORED* up off the ground and escape but only to recieve a later and even worse ass whooping then before. Seeing the chaos champion tyranus fleeing from the fight marcus becoming even more enraged then before, charged the large mass of giant butt ugly deamon seed whores , ripped off one the obliterators arms and then began to express his disapproval of their use of excessive force and then proceeded to show them how it is properly done, the whole time explaining in explicit detail how he banged each and everyone of their mothers all the while not hesitating for a second to fist *CENSORED* their their faces with the decapitated appendage of their dying couterpart who even is of massive size and strength and known for taking extensive amounts of punishment...giggity:P was as the angry marine had put it was crying like a little bitch who was whining for khorne to come and wisk him away back to the warp for some disgusting heretic buttsecks. Finally the last obliterator was horribly mutilated and marcus being the kinda of angry marine that doesnt stop smashing until the brainless fuck nugget stops bleeding, continuied to beat the dead piled up remains of the depressed decayed ass wipes that had allowed his enemy champion fuck face to get away and survive only for another half-hour or so.This time, fun time was over, it was personal and every single chaos worshipping duche-nozzle on this floating *CENSORED* circus orgy of a space hulk was going eat a giant sized bowl of eat shit and die soup with an extra side of DESPAIR !!!!!!
Leaving the destroyed and bloodied confinment of the docking bay behind him, he continued on thru the rest of the ship smashing everyone that confronted or was unfortunate enough to walk into his kill-zone (kill-Zone definiton of an area of mass destructive potency or the range of a persons weapon ,melee/long/medium/short range rifle/aka ma boomstick. EXMPLE- HEY BATTLE, HOW BOUT YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY KILL-ZONE) but no matter how many retared chaos suppoters and the deamon furfaggotry they sent after him in whatever kinda of pathetic attempt to stop him, even smashing thru the toughest and most battle hardened of the word bearers skull champions that had been assigned to the raging space-hulk .There was no amount of deamon nor chaos marine champion that could take him down ,as he tracked a trail of blood staind boot prints all over the ship leaving behind him the mangled and decapitated remains of those that opposed him and his quest to find the *CENSORED* gobblin that ran away from the battle most likely due to that it was his time of the month or he had to remove one of his love slave's arms that had been lodged in his ass for too long.Finally after an hour of going through the massive *CENSORED* ship of chaos, kicking traitorous assholes in the face and setting important shit on fire such as the hulks main weapons battery, the void shield generator that was on board, any life support systems and the ships many plasma drives. Marcus didn't care, if he had to he would have drove the gigantic mass of metal into one of the nearby suns just to make sure the pansy assed c-word bearers and their champion tyranus, were turned from flaming faggots into flame broiled faggots. Time continued and so did marcus as he passionatly searched for tyranus and deliver the emporers messsaging of telling him to kiss his ass goodbye finally after two hours of roaming the maze like ship and relinquishing the current crew of its dutys by sending back to khorne in fucking pieces but marcus grew tired and weiry from the constant skull smashing he had delt to the homo's that inhabited this vessel and he had to take a shit really bad but for some reason their were no toilets aboard not even a decent enough hole in the floor to just kinda hover over and drop down onto some most likely dead shit heads face so instead he improvised.
Locating a nearby chaos marine that had the least amount of blood splattered all over his armor he found one with only his lower half missing after removing his helmet to see the fucked up expression on the heretics face he farted in the dead heretics face leaving with his helmet only to leave to later to returned back down the same hallway to find the same "undivided" chaos marines lower half dangling upsidedown from one of the higher up rafters wondering how he had managed to accomplish this he remembered that one of the corrupted excuses for a tampon was tellng him that he was a cheap recreation of bradd pitt from fight club to, go suck dick and that his mother was a corpse worshiping *CENSORED* of slaneesh .This pissed marcus off for three reasons 1. never mention anything about that ,shit pile of a hermaphrodite crack *CENSORED* that has a dick that looks like nurgel and boobs that go into the same descriptive category of a tyrannid hive tyrant:s. 2. never talk shit about an angry marines mother for only angry marines have the right to say horrible things about their mothers
. 3. NEVER TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB:@ before the ballsy fuck head could come up with another insult marcus located a nearby chainsword that was already covered with the blood of then already dead heretic *CENSORED* dumpsters that he had slain before being evenly matched for insults from this somewhat *CENSORED* stain of a chaos marine, having held the chainsword directly to the bastards chest then stomping his foot on it just to ake sur it sunk into the soon to be dead fuckers abdomen he reved the chainsword and pulled ont the trigger leaving nothing but the sound of bone and fleshing ripping over the sound of the chainsword and the loud but quickly ending screams for the insulting *CENSORED* hole that spoke too much. Having looked over his handy work and returning back to the current reality he went to one of the least disgusting rooms nearby had shit in the heretics helmet then threw feces filled helmet at a pile of dead cultist having wiped his ass with the latest of heretic literature and and latest issue of vogue pulled up his butt plate and returned to the task of hunting down tyranus and ending his pathetic blood sacrificing faiery and rainbow sherbert life.AFTER THREE HOURS marcus finally found his way to the entrance of the space hulks command deck charging in head on, rammed into a nearby chaos tech priest knocking him over while still swinging his trusty power wrench, like a catachan with rabies he swung his wrench in the direction of a sorcerer who while trying to summon a horde of deamons to his aid ended up in a horrible attempt to deflect the wrench with his head thus turning his head into a spiky thunderball of pain thus ironicly hitting a nearby witch in the back as she was trying to flee knocking her stupid bitch ass down and impaling her into one of the control terminals that controlled the hulk's auto-piloting system, thus causing the hulk to then go into manual over-ride turning the ship into a pilotless heap of heavy-metal and destruction on a course to who gives a fuck . After killing the remaining crew and and turning the space hulk into a flameing heap of ass fuckery he finally found who he was looking for , tyranus.
I FUCKING FOUND YOU ,YOU SNEEKY LITTLE *CENSORED* SMOCKING DICK BAG, yelled marcus as having found tyranus in one of the command stations, having almost regained some of his strenght but diddn't get his balls back from the blood gods purse, marcus continued to yell- YOUR ASS IS MINE AND IM GONNA HIT YOU SO FUCKING HARD THAT YOUR BLOOD GOD GETS FUCKING ABORTED AND I SEND YOU BACK TO WHATEVER FESTERING SLIME HOLE YOUR DICK-CURIOUS, ASS PILEGING, EDWARD CULLEN LOVING, *CENSORED* VAMPIRE ASS MANAGED TO SUCK IT'S WAY OUT OF. Tyranus had heard enough, he emerged but this time he was different and marcus knew too easily WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH YOUR FACE he asked. Tyranus replied in a deep ,belowed demonic voice THE BLOOD GOD KHORNE HAS GRANTED ME THE GIFT OF ULTIMATE POWER ,POWER WHICH I WILL USE TO RIP YOUR BONES FROM YOUR BODY AND SWIM IN A RIVER OF YOUR BLOOD!!!!! Marcus merely replied; WELL, LOOKE WHO FINALLY DECIDED TO GROW A PAIR ,WHO BOUT YOU COME CLOSER SO I CANM AKE YOU EAT MY BOOT LIKE LAST TIME. Tyranus grew impatient as did marcus they drew their weapons and charged at each other with emmence rage, marcus with his power wrench and tyranus with his deamon maul both swung wildy blocking eachothers attacks neither one of them making any connecting blows what so ever. After five minutes of this shit both sides grew tired but there could be only one victor ,so tyranus charged again and as did marcus but this time as tyranus swang his unholy deamon maul the fucking *CENSORED* threw a damn blind grenade and 'duh' "blinding" marcus causing him to miss the block thus taking the deamon maul to his head falling over but not quite dead tyranus moved closer to finish him off but as he did tyranus and his pompuos attitude decided to show some bit of mecry asking marcus if he had any final words to say before his death marcus removing his helmet, while still lying on the ground replied; yeah :cough:cough: i've got something thing i wanna say to you, tyranus laughed in demonic tone ,finally he had beaten the angry marine physically and mentaly as he held his deamon maul over head he replied back to marcus; WELL SPEAK THEN, OR DIE WITH ME LISTENING TO YOU CHOKE ON YOUR OWN INTESTINE'S ,marcus spoke out to tyranus with one large breath MISTER SKITTLES IT'S HERESY!!!!!! Stupified by the strange comment that the angry marine had made tyranus didn't know what to do except laugh meniacly at his ridiculous speech THAT WAS IT he snikered THAT WAS IT;THOSE WERE YOUR FINALY WORDS!!! YOU TRULY ARE MAD and as tyranus was anout to swing down ending the angry marines life he stopped, as the room became dead quiet an echo appeared from the hallways an echo of what sounded like claws scurrying across the floor as the echo went on the noise became louder adn the claws drawing ever closer then the sounds of a horrible growling animal then followed with the scurrying claws finally the sound made it to just outside the doorway and the halls became silent again, as tyranus moved away from marcus and closer to the door a loud growl even louder then before was emitting from outside the door tyranus looked out the little pussyfied doorway window he saw nothing he then grew tired of this creature and swung open the door, what he saw was a small fury creature starring back at him from ankle level tyranus leaned around facing marcus as if to say , IS THIS YOUR LITTLE FRIEND THATS SUPPOSED TO SAVE YOU after mocking marcus and the fury creature outside the doorway marcus howled as loud as he could HERESY!!!!! not even a second later the fury creature pounced attacking tyranus bitting him in the neck clawing at his face tyranus flailing his arms wildly dropping his deamon maul screaming horrible obscenitties at the small beast WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING tyranus screamed as he tryed to pry the rabid monster from his throat marcus only laughed in an angry way while repliying THATS MISTER SKITTLES, THE MOTHER FUCKING ANGRIEST HONEY BADGER IN THE FUCKING GALAXY , YOUR FUCKED NOW, tyranus still trying to pry mister skittles from his throat screaming bloody murder :GET THIS FUCKING BEAST OFF OF ME BEFORE I TURN IT INTO A PILE ASH: marcus just watching as mister skittles tears out one of his foes eyes out while in great uproar followed by applause uttered the phrase HONEY BADGER DONT GIVE A FUCK. Several minutes wen by as mister skittles tore out the stupid bastards throat ,one of his eyes and chewed off his ear and left his face looking like a fucked up wood carving ,finally having its fill of blood and deamon flesh mister shittles jumped off of the mauled and colapsed body of tyranus the conqurer of worlds sprawled out onto the downed tech preist clawed at its back then took a nap. Marcus however was not even close to being done with tyranus as kneeled over him he slapped him twenty times with his fist and then after tyranus had awoken from his honey badger attack only to then be now at the mercy of the angry marine that almost killed him last time it was going to be slow and painful. As marcus began belting tyranus the champion screamed with an agonizing death scream that destroyed any remaing functional controls to the space-hulk drawing closer to a colision with a nearby planet, Marcus now knowing of the urgency to leave the ship but he couldnt, he still had a mission to finish and in doing so went back to beating him for ten minutes after demorilizing the champion cutting off all his limbs with a battle axe and letting mister skittles naw at the nubs he raised his power wrench high over his head before slamming it down onto tyranus's head , he left him with one final speech; ALWAYS ANGRY, ALL THE TIME then followed by caving in his stupid herpe sore of a face filling the room with the smashing sounds of the wrench bashing in the champions skull leaving nothing but a splattered sloppy mess.
The mission was over, he had slaughtered every single chaos maggot aboard and now all he had to do was leave but wait.... his capsule was totaled after the crash and the hanger bay is most likey on fire and he had already jettisoned all the escape pods incase more faggoty chaos followers decided to leave without getting a piece of his boot up their ass, the enourmous space hulk was plummeting toward the nearby planet of analus rapius xxv which the one remaing panels indicated that the planet that was about to get a major wake up call was already in the midst of a full fledged battle between necron and eldar forces ,there was no way that he could pilot the massive hulk and fly away unscathed, THAT WOULD BE FUCKING LAME, there was only one last thing he could do. If he was gonna go out it might as well be sending a giant message of OWNAGE ramming a space hulk into a planet full of the metal plated skeletor looking fuck dolls and feiry ass eldar *CENSORED* that think their the shit. His journey had come to an end , he couldn't be less angry about it that was the way of the angry marine fuck shit up or die screaming your ass off. As the enormous hulk plummeted even closer to the planets surface he turned seeing mister skittles enjoying himself by defficating on the now very dead chaos *CENSORED* champion and for a brief moment he wasn't so angry anymore, then he looked down to see the carnage that was caused by the eldar getting their asses handed to them by a bunch of walking metalic, anorexic *CENSORED*'s with dick shaped weapons firing green lightning bolts of epic *CENSORED* as for the eldar there wasn't enough room and i didn't feel like spending another hour writing all the reasons why the eldar suck so either way both sides are pretty equally *CENSORED* and stupid but regardless they would all die an equally awesome death. The eldar and all their sorry excuse for an army ran away to i guess, refill their tampon dispensers and as the necrons lurched forward a great darkness fell over the battlefield the necrons advancement had stop and the pansy ass eldar stopped shoving rubber falaces up their noses long enough to take notice of this epic shit kicking catastrophy that was about tho go down. the battle had stopped in a split second as both the eldar and necrons saw the ginormous space hulk speading towards them, after the necrons finished calculating the probability of how fucked they were and the eldar stopped crying like a bunch of five year olds at a slaughter house both sides immediatlty began to run for the fucking hills, BUT IT WAS TOO FUCKING LATE the speeding hulk had already passed thru the planets atmosphere and began screaming towards the surface below before the heaping space giant slammed into the ground marcus let out with one final cry of angry passion FUUUUUUUCCCCK YOOOOOOOOOOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! With that the space hulk smashed into the ground sending an asshole clentching shockwave that nearly made the entire planet shake , as the centrifical force of the massive ship took effect the fucking plasma drives that marcus had so wisely set on fire, were set off by the planet *CENSORED* impact causing a series of massive nuclear sized explosions destroying they masive hulk vaporizing everything within a hundred kilometer radius obliterating the necrons and burning alive the eldar that hadn't made it to their prescious web way gates in time all had perished none were left standing the massive wreckage that remained of the once menacing hulk was now nothing more then ground zero for one of the most horrific inccidents to happen to the eldar since the coruption of their people and the loss of their home world to the dark eldar how are just as *CENSORED* as regular eldar but with if they were emo and had the personality of a razor blade. The sun blotted out by the never ending black smoke billowing from the hulks wreckage while ash rained from the sky as if lthe entire planets atmosphere had been set a fiery blaze , the ass *CENSORED* plains of the battle scarred terain was now nonthing more then a gigantic crater scontaining the still large skeletal remnants of the space hulks bow and side deck there was nothing but charred earth and the burnt outlines of what use to look like living beings. The aftermath of the crash left the entire planet in ruin bot only did it defeat the eldar and destroy any chance of useing the web way gates on the planet againbut it also annihalated the necron army and destroyed the tomb world leaving the remaining structures of the necrons to be buried under tons of sand and wreckage. As we draw to a close we remeber the valiant efforts of the angry marine gave his life to.. wait a sec.... what the fu... ridiculous as it may be, a shadowy figure emerges from the devasted landscape stumbling around throwing a piece of the burnt wreckage at the crater why it cant be it's MARCUS THAT LICKY MOTHER FUCKER SURVIVED brushing himself off he walks away from this just as stubborn and insane as he did when he took this mission and yes mister skittles survives too, fucking honey badger:dodgy:. Well i guess this isnt the last of marcus after all , but he does not just leave his handy work behind without people knowing who did this, for he pulled out a dark red marker leaving his (calling card) behind with the hand writing of an eight year old with down syndrome, he wrote the only thing that he could think of that best decribed the situation and as he walks off into the distance with mister skittles by his side ready to curb stomp the next person he see's, he leaves after writing only three words in large red text ; OWNED FUCK YEAH. THE END
douche monkeys
