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The return you've not been waiting for!

Posted by Fuzzy , 20 October 2015 · 3,892 views

Helloooo Gothic,

I am restarting this train wreck so buckle up and try to enjoy while I make Cru draw near to dropping the ban hammer.

Alright so lets start this softly, I believe that there are certain things that every man, woman, child and degenerate like us should witness and experience at some point before the inevitable nuclear fire purges us all. Things like the first steps of a child, that moment when you realise how the light in a refrigerator works (I was 19 when I figured that one out) and a midget in a monkey costume being drop kicked by a wrestler into the face of another...



Alright, now that I think we've set the tone I believe we should go a little bit deeper into the rabbit hole, or in this case a china mans asshole:

If you think you've had a rough time after a curry, or are eating one right now, I strongly advise you read this article from Metro:

Mr Kao, 54, had been attempting to treat his own piles – by using a toy sword to ‘snip’ the haemhoroids.
Sadly, he slipped, and the spiky, fantasy weapon disappeared up his rear entrance.

DISAPPEARED!?!?

He was rushed to Run Run Shaw Hospital in Hangzhou City, China – where he was greeted by crowds of reporters.
One asked, ‘Were you crouching over the mirror while you were trying to do it?’ and another, ‘Did it accidentally slip while you were trying to sit down?’
Kao replied, ‘Yes’ to both queries.

As it turns out, this guy Kao never had piles and in fact just had an itchy arse. Still think you're having a bad day? Try shoving a three inch blade up your shitter...

Alright so now were rolling (or flying as you'll soon see) I'll leave you with this:


So that I don't get in trouble for posting it and Cru doesn't get in trouble for allowing me to (gotta cover all the bases) here's the link to the original article about the sword up the arse: http://metro.co.uk/2...-piles-5439022/


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Fuzzy Fridays

Posted by Fuzzy , 19 September 2014 · 2,774 views

Hey Gothic Wars! Welcome to the first issue of Fuzzy Fridays. In this weeks issue we'll be taking a look at the reason parents should hit their kids and also reading a news article about a woman that branded her children for identification and ice cream.

But first, lets take a look at quite possibly the most easily aggravated guitar player that ever lived:

​I personally just love the comments his friend that's recording all this makes, just like its nothing and this happens all the time

Alright moving on, now this may make me a bad person and usually I never would hit a child but this kid is a special case:
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See people, this is why blue smarties were discontinued for a while. My kid turns out like this I'll have to be restrained...

Okay so lets get to our final feature:
Mother Brands Children For Identification Purposes
A mother of two has been arrested for branding her two children so she would know they were hers.

Police said Kayla Oxenham,23, used a lighter to set a stick on fire before pressing it against her childrens bodies in order to mark them so she would know they were her own kids. (what this bitch couldn't recognise her own kids in a line up or something?)
Aged only five and seven, the children told police that their deranged bitch of a mother said she did it so she knew they were hers and also so that they could have ice cream. ( I love ice cream as much as they next guy but seriously I don't think its worth it.)


Alright so that concludes the first entry into fuzzy fridays, if you liked it or hated it leave a comment and let me know, any feedback and ideas for the future will be greatly appreciated. Cya next Friday!





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